It’s so easy to hero worship a dead man. To convince myself he’d be everything I need right now. It’s total horse shit obviously, he was equally as imperfect as everyone else. I feel like a dick for saying it but there’s multiple aspects of my world that are immeasurably easier without him around. But the areas of life where he’s missed…there’s nothing to do but miss him. Mylo and I both just have to keep digging deep and bringing ourselves out the other side proving that despite what he said positive progress can happen in our lives without him around. I don’t know how to get better at this waking up alone thing. Most nights I’m fine then others I spend the whole night feeling restless and solitary. Hopefully the solution is to spend the next couple of nights with some babies…let’s see.